Looking out into a New Year with a friend

Looking forward to what a new year has in store is always exciting.
Very few threads to tie one... ( don't mention the Money word...)
There is a brand new look to move towards, or maybe step back & kind of settle after a tumultious time... or graze over one's options.
These options can be big or petite.. such as a new hair cut or colour, ... or it can be finding a new place & way of living to be in or maybe begin anew in a different country... or travel to countries that you have always wanted to do....
For myself I am rustling up thoughts of moving house ( again ) !!! How exciting don't you think..? It won't happen until later in the year I guess, but I need to have a lot of thoughtful ???? preparation in place... as work gathers momentum as the year rolls on....
A friend's daughter has been critically ill before Christmas & is in the recovery process... young woman with 2 young children... that is such a pace to keep up.. managing & paying for a home, caring for the children & herself & working fulltime...

In the depths of her illness when things looked grim I was trying to think of some good words for her.. but I got to speak them to her on the phone after the core of the illness was discovered .. & she was discharged from hospital...
This is what I said "GRASP LIFE WITH BOTH HANDS AND GO AND ENJOY" "don't worry the children will follow and will happily survive"

I pass that onto myself and to all... what would you all do if you could just grab your life & own it ????
HAPPY NEW YEAR

I was musing

Yesterday.... I was musing & thinking of several of my friends who are venturing into new lives ... experiences... & wondering how it was all going.

As I stepped over the threshold carrying a cane laden basket of crisp sun dried laundry ... it came to me, that these folks & many of us more are rather unique people.
Doing these things alone is not always beer & skittles as one of my work trainers said eons ago... as he lurched a load of reluctant public servants into a new era...
It is scarey and exhilorarting stuff.
Where the emotions run from the first buzz... then the cold icy blood shoots to your toes... then the dogged plod to get from A to dry land again... floating in holding patterns tests everyone...
But once on the otherside there is rarely time to sit and reflect on it all as one has to hit the ground running.

These unique ladies... have just begun new journeys... with a:
* guest house,
* has sold a business & will begin study in the new year as well as work in the business that was sold...
*India on a textile tour is another destination that begins today.... I applaud their courage to change their direction, their sense of self, their inner beauty.... and I wish them the best the world can offer....

Bridges crossed or to passover

BRIDGES... many we have crossed and more will arise to pass over into new places....

Just think how many times we have metaphorically crossed over a bridge because we had a choice, or it was the best option or it was the only way forward.

Sometimes I have pondered on a bridge & watched the water rush by, always going some place... except in droughts where the water became in some cases a pool of stagnant water.

Just as in our lives sometimes we have these flurries of enormous change & then that settling period to sometimes ( I smile) it too becomes the ho hum everyday.

I bought a sweet little book of days on the weekend & has well thought out entries... I opened it at random while I ate lunch the day I bought it & there at number 44 was... It is ok to make U Turns in life ......... I loved that meaning.

It went on to say how it takes courage to change one's mind... and I now rest my case... cross a bridge today... watch what is about & under you... and how it feels to be able to get to the other side of a divide !

Teachers arrive when one needs new lessons

How wonderful it was to gaze into this mandarin tree, laden with the colours of it's fruit.....

it has stood bearing fruit for many many years through waterlogged years & dustbowl years & some beautiful perfect years... just like people really there are many seasons we all have lived through & each one day is different from the next.

As I wrote that I wondered about perhaps how some keep each day so tightly controlled that the predictability is their safeness.... the day begins at the exact time as yesterday & then one's routines begin. Ah now I understand how some get so upset when the daily newspaper is not on it's standard arrival time of 6.43 am precisely. I seem to like to listen in on these complaints in newsagents whereever I am... they are the same melody....

Why I returned to write a second rambling today was I have ordered 2 books from Amazon on women living single lives. You know how when the student is ready & the teacher arrives... in the newsletter filled usually with decor books to tempt me came a whatever thing on living singularly... intrigued I read the blurb.. & then roamed through several books... coming back time & time in the followings days until I did select 2 which are now happily on their way.....

I am interested as others tell their stories... I love that the best in books today... it for me gives inspiration, it often normalises who I am & I love to read what we all think of our own lives as ordinary... I so enjoy being in these lives as I think they do write with honesty

Which is a thing for me.... I kind of understand this some more now as I spoke to a great aunt & she tells wonderful stories as she talks & weaves a beautiful tapestry of life that my genes are linked to ... an ancestor from Ireland was a Quaker & she spoke & possibly lived with the ways of quakers... never a lie to be told has come down through several generations... given one's word is another that I wrestle with... and as I meet more of the links I see the openess to people that comes with one's word is always good & honesty is a virtue to behold & here we are very trusting & open folk... with a private side of course that each respects & comprehends this to be so... small traits passed on.

SNOWPEAS

The day has begun with gentle drip drop of rain.. and now it has a steady rhythm on the tin roof... a snug feel.

Today I love it & after some years of drought the sounds of rain are like natures' symphony....

I open the door this morning to find to my utter delight a blackbird on the wood stack by the door.... it is a silent moment for us both before he takes flight....

Snowpeas are a gift from my neighbour ... the lovliest of surprises are gifts from another's soul...

It is to be taken as an exchange ... how it reminds m, as a child when making friends... that new experience as 4 & 5 yr old as one extends the gift of sharing what toy I had to another with absolute good faith.

This is what I measure generosity by... it is given.. my hand is turned upwards & open....it has no threads of conditions ..it is just pure & simple a gift.

We all have gifts to offer another, some have enormous gifts of time... to give to another. Some cook wonderfully & their kitchens are always open... others push bunches of flowers into one's arms & we laugh.... The snowpeas came with abundance... I felt gratitude that I was thought of to be given so many wonderfully freshly picked produce...

In a busy world we often forget to just be who we really are... the opening of one's heart to the pure ( as in not altered) giving and also of recieving gifts is a delicious nectar.

Bees have a compass to

Each season renewal does occur... even if it is a little battle scarred from the events of the previous season.
I renewed myself a little by taking off to the beach for a few days... collecting some favourite books & magazines & a journal & the fountain pen... I adore the flow of the ink when I write with these..
Then at the beach I explore or visit bookshops, newsagents, gift stores & the food supermarkets have different things in different areas...
I read, I drive, I walk the sands.... & within a day I feel the lawnmower episode fade....
That was redeemable, the lawnmower..how wonderful repair people are... whew !

It disturbs me at times as people grope to being a single lady in a world that appears to be connected... some must have an illness to distract them, others have bad experiences that have certainly messed with their minds for a time, others are in earnest to find a replacement partner... & some toss in excess work.... most are grieving a loss of one sort or another.

The ones I feel for are those that have totally lost their compass... there is no direction . there is no sense, there is vulnerability..there is a sense of being only half a person... the sun neither rises or sets... each day clouds over very quickly....

Take your compass, and go away from the known, no matter how scared you may be, how ill you may feel, how poor you really are.... go...by car, by train, bus, ask a friend to drop you & collect...
Go be with yourself & start to connect with the world out there... smile at the other lady struggling with a parcel & her gnarled body.... smile at the next one as you bend forward to pick up milk in the supermarket or corner store... turn off the mobile !
Be really brave & in no time that earns a little to the compass of your life.

Lawn mowers & instructions for blondes

Enjoy the blossom while I have a grumble...

LAWNMOWERS... brought a brand new one last week..after considering the cost of a service industry to cut down the weeds every 2nd week in summer with no drought.
There was a huge stress on adding OIL to it first before starting both at store & on some strategically placed yellow strips on mower.

So I have oil & fuel & mower & 2 instruction booklets both in have a bet each way... instructions for this or that model.
Some pictures & numbers of the components but no legend..just read through all the jargon ..even how to start was buried in the small print...
So what did blondie here do... when looking for oil spot & tried some thing with 2 black covered screws & couldn't undo so figures it is immoveable.... find a cap & pour a lot of oil in !
Then I go to put fuel in & am roaming around this green monster & back to books to finally dreadfully realise I have put oil in the petrol tank.

What I said was not in their instruction book....
Done now & maybe my dough too.... but fortunately there is a lawn mower service man in town..who may be the saviour of all single blonde women.
IF I WAS INTERESTED IN MECHANICS I WOULD HAVE BEEN SO COMFY WITH THIS WHOLE THING.... But I get my car serviced regularly for precisely this point... I don't know... don't want to know but nowadays a lot of technically or mechanical stuff is foisted apon us....
EG Get the right digital set top box for area etc etc tune it in... where & what are we teaching ... that isn't progress it is retards doing poor manufacturing & usually off shore that is international & translated to some poor standard & no guarantee re warranty & what is that worth if the multi nationals go broke in this the economic crisis... things cost good $$$ are manufacture cheap as can be & then foisted off in mega stores .. why do we take this ???

I hear the blackbirds

I hear the blackbird's clear spring song fill the air & it brings much happiness when I hear it.
The clarity, the music it is pure joy... and I never mind if he or she forage in the garden beds...
it is part of that bird that sings beneath my window

Come to the edge....

' Come to the edge' he said.

'I am afraid'

' Come to the edge' he said

She Came

He pushed her

and ...

SHE FLEW

This is a quote I found quoted in a book called a Year in Sunshine

I need to check on title..but magic book.

This quote says for me..when we are enticed in life to stretch way beyond our known boundaries.

It is scarey stuff to go over the edge & one cannot wind oneself back.... flying is the best option as it is so UPLIFTING, EXHILARATING.... & PLAIN SCAREY... but life changing....

So when faced with a weird scarey thing.... take a deep breath & fly..flap as fast as you can...& if you are in luck some gorgeous soul will blow air into your wings

a tree spreads it's branches

a tree spreads it's branches...
...to let in sunlight and to shade and shelter in hot times.... at times lichen grows ... it is all beauty... sometimes so simple it is hard to see.

Today is here & I have worked through some of the sense of failure I felt in chosing the wrong place.

However I will say that instinct is so strong... I am stone deaf ! No I did hear it but berated myself for being so precious.

There was an uneasy feel about moving to that house... the closer this got the unease settled around me like that fog I drove in.... I couldn't see any reason & was questioning "how come you have lost your spirit of adventure & of HOPE "? ..I have a + on that....
Purchases were difficult to be delivered, obstacles happened & at last all was delivered ..which now needs to be picked up... the notice to give to quit, the reluctance to begin to pack...the sheer lethargy....
The overide was the yearning to be resettled..to explore ..to breathe some new life into my soul..

I may have been a little foolish but I do not think so... who would have known, we, strangers in town...what person would have felt safe to tell, in case we were part of it all.....that is not a world I inhabit & are very niave in that sense......