I renewed myself a little by taking off to the beach for a few days... collecting some favourite books & magazines & a journal & the fountain pen... I adore the flow of the ink when I write with these..
Then at the beach I explore or visit bookshops, newsagents, gift stores & the food supermarkets have different things in different areas...
I read, I drive, I walk the sands.... & within a day I feel the lawnmower episode fade....
That was redeemable, the lawnmower..how wonderful repair people are... whew !
It disturbs me at times as people grope to being a single lady in a world that appears to be connected... some must have an illness to distract them, others have bad experiences that have certainly messed with their minds for a time, others are in earnest to find a replacement partner... & some toss in excess work.... most are grieving a loss of one sort or another.
The ones I feel for are those that have totally lost their compass... there is no direction . there is no sense, there is vulnerability..there is a sense of being only half a person... the sun neither rises or sets... each day clouds over very quickly....
Take your compass, and go away from the known, no matter how scared you may be, how ill you may feel, how poor you really are.... go...by car, by train, bus, ask a friend to drop you & collect...
Go be with yourself & start to connect with the world out there... smile at the other lady struggling with a parcel & her gnarled body.... smile at the next one as you bend forward to pick up milk in the supermarket or corner store... turn off the mobile !
Be really brave & in no time that earns a little to the compass of your life.
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